Glory.

I like the above picture. I had hair then, and was pre-cowboy shirt days for me. I now always wear a cowboy shirt on stage - not just because it fits my opening gag, but also because Tony Law often wears them and he's a hero of mine. Anyway, that was Summer Sundae last year. I just did an image search on Google and found the above pic and one of me onstage at Cheeky Monkey's in Birmingham - looking far too thin. Which is a nice was of me saying that I'm a chubby chubster now. That was the day that I was watching the Pigeon Detectives and I got a phone call - I'd already done my slot on the Saturday, but We Are Klang were delayed on the M40 thanks to a shooting (not by them) so I had to go back to the comedy tent and perform again. Which was ace.

Right then, the Edinburgh festival is done with. Not that I was there, being poor and all, but it does mean the beginning of the new comedy year - in the same way that Wrestlemania ends the wrestling year at the end of every March. Shut up, I like wrestling.

I jumped up and down in my lounge saying "woot" when I heard that Sarah Millican won the Perrier (fuck "if.comeddie", it's a daft name) newcomer award doo-dah because she's bloody awesome, tremendously funny and ridiculously nice to everyone. Yay for her! When she's a bajillionaire I can say I gigged with her a few times and that we once sat in a bar in Edinburgh with other comedians having a laugh texting AQA. Back then I presumed that I'd be making bigger strides in comedy by now... and not that I'd actually be working for AQA. Which is actually quite nice, but that's another blog.

I have been thinking though. I've been a comedian for 3 years. The other week I met a lovely lad called Jonathon Elston, really funny kid (I can call him that, he's at least 10 years my junior) who deserves to go far. We had the standard "how long have you been going" conversation and he's been going around a year. And has done nearly as many gigs as me. At last count I've done 170 gigs. In three years. That is poor - and mainly down to my own laziness and circumstances. So that's it now. The quest for glory is on. I've got a plan. Mwuhahahahahahaha.

It doesn't really need the sinister laughter, but I kind of like it.

Part one of the plan is to get VERY good at my trade. I'm not bad. I get good work from some promoters, less good work from others and quite a few promoters sit there and have no idea who I am. Which is understandable - I never go to London to work and I certainly don't gig as much as I might. But with every gig I do I can feel myself getting better - in the same way that steroid abusers feel themselves stretching at night (apparently), I can feel my skills actually getting to a point where I'm not an enthusiastic amateur anymore and I'm really half decent. So from now on, no gig gets turned down. I will work my arse off to ensure that I get better and better and better and that I don't miss any opportunity through my own lack of motivation. Part one (a) is that I need to go to London, do open spots in tough clubs and generally put my name about a bit. It's either that or put my card in phone boxes...

Part two is hassling promoters. I'm a promoter myself so I know how annoying it is to be contacted all the time. But I've got a good CV, audio, video and a million testimonies and references - I need to be using this effectively and taking the step up. And if I get knocked back, I need to not just sit under a duvet for a week, worried that every club in the country hates me. You can't have everyone like you, after all. I jut need to keep going. Consistently.

Part three is Edinburgh, which I will now do in 2009. I did a solo show in Leicester during their comedy festival this year and it went well - it sold out, but that's more down to being a local than actually being good. But I can perform for an hour and it really wasn't bad - all the material in that show gets used during regular gigs, dependent on the audience. The name of this blog comes from my proposed Edinburgh / Leicester /Camden / Sheffield / Glasgow / Manchester hour long show in 2009 - "Boy Next Door Gone Wrong". It's the best description of my act that I've ever heard (from Rob Gee) and will move away from my club set and discuss how I went from cute, well behaved little James Daniel Smallman to heavily tattooed, useless in relationships, messed up former alcoholic Jim Smallman. I'm going to use a slideshow and everything. It'll rule.

I hope.

So then. I feel energised and ready to take on the world. Starting with the Smirking Rooms in Leeds tonight. YEAH!

(This energy will last until I have a bad gig or a flat tyre on the motorway.)